Thanks Adult Cash!

[NumptyNuts]

Just wanted to thank you for the parcel, a lot bigger and better then exspected :)

The beer coolers will make ideal captains arm bands, will get you a team photo and send it over :-) - Our keeper is going to be gutted he's the only porn consumer in the team and he dont get one ha ha.

In case you are wondering we played one game so far this season against the runners up from last year, we won 3-0.

Winning this sunday will prob make us favourites to win the title as we would have beat the top two teams back to back.... Here's to the Coalition :cheers2:

[Mattyboy]

What was the keeper missing?

[NumptyNuts]

he gets nothing, hes not allowed to wear the same as us - so he gets a big bag of 'noult' - hes gutted

[Mattyboy]

ha ha, unlucky!

[NumptyNuts]

our keeper looks just like Jeremy Beadle - even got a gammy hand LOL

Heres our team - needs updating for this season -


http://www.hullwhitepages.co.uk/soccer/images/logo-main.gif

MARK ST MARY

BETTER known for his ability to keep countless schoolchildren on the straight and narrow, Mark's enthusiastic probing from the rear has proved a major bonus for the Coalition. Originally a dynamic defensive midfielder in the Claude Makele mould, Mark has decided to leave the running around to his betters and has proved a formidable barrier in the net. With distribution skills reminiscent of Peter Schmeichal, he is the rock upon which the Coaliton fortress is built.

DID YOU KNOW? Mark was originally a member of the boy band McFly, but was dumped when his hair started to turn grey.

ROB de CHATEAUBEAUCHAMP

SKILFUL as Gazza, as tigerish in the tackle as Paul Ince, as lethal a striker of a football as Bobby Charlton, Rob epitomises the never-say-die attitude of the Coalition. Likes to start at the back and float around midfield until someone, eventually, passes to him. Has a nack of scoring important goals, and loves nothing better than bit of artful trickery around the box. Probably the Coalition's top scorer, but no one's keeping count.

DID YOU KNOW? Rob was on the shortlist to play Alfie Moon in Eastenders. His inability to pull a pint or to tell you what 'apples and pears' are eventually ruled him out.

DAVE TURBO

HAS the brake horse power of a US dragster and the ability to go through the gears like a well-tuned Jaguar E-type. Has been plagued by foot problems but has the heart of an elephant. Sound in the tackle, willing to run down countless lost causes, Dave has been likened to Steven Gerrard by some wise observers. But not many. Nicknamed the 'Blonde Bombshell'.

DID YOU KNOW? Had the world's first foot transplant. Rumour has it he received Pele's right foot in exchange for information on solving Pele's erection problems. His ability to shoot has transformed the Coalition's fortunes.

JOHN ARTOIS

THE portly poacher of Cranswick and the founder of the Coalition. Has an insatiable appetite for strong lager. Surprisingly agile for a big lad, Johan Cruyff is rumoured to have seen a young John in the back garden of his house in deepest Lincolnshire and copied the Cruyff turn from him. Easily the most skilful player in the team, is getting frustrated by his lack of goals. Always the first to offer to buy the beer in the Sloop post-match.

DID YOU KNOW? Was being touted as the new face of Calvin Klein undwear, but failure to wear clean duds for his interview scuppered that.

NATHAN WONDER

THE baby of the Coalition team. Protected by Paul and Scott in the same way as Roy Keane protects Wayne Rooney. In fact, is probably a better player than Wayne Rooney. Often targeted by the opposition because of his size, Nath has been known to surprise bigger opponents. Has added energy to the team and his ability to run for 20 minutes has astounded less fit players. His mother asked if he could join the Coalition to keep him out of trouble. Little does she know....

DID YOU KNOW? East Riding Council wanted to use Nathan to promote the dangers of under-age drinking. Deemed not suitable when he lurched up to council leader Stephen Parnaby, called him a 'curly-haired f'cker' then vomited on his shoes.

PAUL DOGGY DOGG

THE cocksure Cockney, the loveable rogue, Mr Fix-It. The heartbeat of the team. Misguidedly thinks he has the ability to manage the Coalition, he's often listened to and equally often ignored. Has already got a reputation for being a hatchet man and has the ability to lie better than Tony Blair. Always the target of opposition ire, one day he will learn how to shoot straight. A key man at the back, but gets vertigo when he ventures outside his own half.

DID YOU KNOW? Once had trials for Arsenal - as a cleaner. Ruled out of the pretigious position when he sneaked into the dressing room and started doing strange things to Tony Adams' sock.

SCOTT MOURINHO

CARRYING too much weight these days, looks better for a hair cut. Has likened himself to a poor man's Carlton Palmer, others have likened him to Carlton out of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Unable to pass a ball straight or shoot, but can make a nuisance out of himself in defence. Tactical genius and champions the zonal marking system, much to other team-mates' chagrin. Capable of going in goal when knackered. Constant source of amusement to team-mates.

DID YOU KNOW? Asked to star in new Doctor Who series, but was turned down after it was discovered he was really a Cyberman.