Black Bastard

[Geezer]

This fucking dirty black bastard keeps coming to my house and thieving off me.
I caught the black cunt earlier and told him to fuck off but I know he has been back with his mates cos the evidence is there.

I would love to shoot the fucking black bastard but would probably end up getting nicked. What do you think I should do?

[rogue]

Apparently cats don't like the smell of orange peel, try putting some of that around the garden to keep it away.

[JT]

havingchildrenoutofwedlock'ist

[psl]

Broken legs normally are a good detterent, try using traps.:reading:

[Geezer]

We did have a problem out the back with them shitting but I got that cat deterent thing and that did the trick. I might have to stick one out the front.

They got in my wheelie bin the other night on were dining on some ribs they managed to dig out. This little black cunt is a cheeky bastard, he even tried walking in my house the other day.

[Jase]

http://www.stcstores.co.uk/ekmps/shops/seatontrading/images/362%5B1%5D.jpg

[erots]

Get a rottweiler

[Benross]

Get a rottweiler

Good idea, unless the cats are anything like the ones around my way, just sit there n taunt the fuckin dog...

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj11/silvershadowmgf/0_1.jpg

[daveydude]

Get a cat.

[Benross]

Get a cat.

Maybe, Which ones are harder? black uns or Ginger ones?

[Cardinal_Sin]

Simple solution -


Call your local Mosque and tell them you are having all the Worlds' leaders' over for a bucket of beer drinking competition and you would like to take this opportunity to fuck them over and could they send over a few guys loaded with semtex etc.
Get the Mrs to dig a hole with her new JCB and get the Young lads who are willing to spend the rest of their dead lives with 60 virgins to lie down in the pit - Give them a cheap cell phone explaining you will give them the signal to kill the World Leaders and open their paths to multitudes of virgins. (Then cover with soil and garnish with chopped tomatoes and mature stone.)
Once covered, line heavily with fish, cat food, one legged birds, soiled panties, buscuits etc.
As soon as the black bastards arrive - Telephone and wait - Preferrably several pubs away.
Hope this helps mate.

[psl]

Simple solution -


Call your local Mosque and tell them you are having all the Worlds' leaders' over for a bucket of beer drinking competition and you would like to take this opportunity to fuck them over and could they send over a few guys loaded with semtex etc.
Get the Mrs to dig a hole with her new JCB and get the Young lads who are willing to spend the rest of their dead lives with 60 virgins to lie down in the pit - Give them a cheap cell phone explaining you will give them the signal to kill the World Leaders and open their paths to multitudes of virgins. (Then cover with soil and garnish with chopped tomatoes and mature stone.)
Once covered, line heavily with fish, cat food, one legged birds, soiled panties, buscuits etc.
As soon as the black bastards arrive - Telephone and wait - Preferrably several pubs away.
Hope this helps mate.

lol

[Geezer]

Simple solution -


Call your local Mosque and tell them you are having all the Worlds' leaders' over for a bucket of beer drinking competition and you would like to take this opportunity to fuck them over and could they send over a few guys loaded with semtex etc.
Get the Mrs to dig a hole with her new JCB and get the Young lads who are willing to spend the rest of their dead lives with 60 virgins to lie down in the pit - Give them a cheap cell phone explaining you will give them the signal to kill the World Leaders and open their paths to multitudes of virgins. (Then cover with soil and garnish with chopped tomatoes and mature stone.)
Once covered, line heavily with fish, cat food, one legged birds, soiled panties, buscuits etc.
As soon as the black bastards arrive - Telephone and wait - Preferrably several pubs away.
Hope this helps mate.

Still on the sauce then? :alc:

[Ivor CashInEnvelope]

Still on the sauce then? :alc:

your;re sauce us good for making glove nudie biz chat for amsterdam?

[Geezer]

your;re sauce us good for making glove nudie biz chat for amsterdam?

Ahhhh right...fake account, OK I get it now ;)

[Ivor CashInEnvelope]

Ahhhh right...fake account, OK I get it now ;)

no faking like ibill we stand up legitkew money biz

you can make fuck of your arse if you call us bad biz

fuck your uncle! female dog.

[Geezer]

no faking like ibill we stand up legitkew money biz

you can make fuck of your arse if you call us bad biz

fuck your uncle! female dog.
I want fake account with cash cos i notneed pay tax in cuntry so time is at the momeont

[erots]

Good idea, unless the cats are anything like the ones around my way, just sit there n taunt the fuckin dog...

http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj11/silvershadowmgf/0_1.jpg

LOL!

In that case get a bear trap with some stinky fish or one of those ribs they were eating

[Cardinal_Sin]

Still on the sauce then? :alc:

Two lines of brown and 3 hours sniffing salad cream from a marks and spencers plastic back - Fucking paying for it this morning tho.

[ArsewithClass]

Apparently cats don't like the smell of orange peel, try putting some of that around the garden to keep it away.
I have a fox thats made a den somewhere in my garden! Fxxxing thing!

[KazB]

We had a big white and black car coming in stealing the kitty food and attacking my 5 cats. Now we keep a washing up liquid bottle filled with water on the side as a deterrent (he gets a quick squirt if he sneaks in through the catflap) and it seems to have done the job.

If he seems to be homeless you could always trying calling the local cat rescue centre .

[Jase]

We had a big white and black car coming in stealing the kitty food and attacking my 5 cats. Now we keep a washing up liquid bottle filled with water on the side as a deterrent (he gets a quick squirt if he sneaks in through the catflap) and it seems to have done the job.

If he seems to be homeless you could always trying calling the local cat rescue centre .

Must be some bloody cat flap :noway2:

[KazB]

Must be some bloody cat flap :noway2:

Oops I meant cat! We nicknamed him fat-arse as he took the little plastic door off with him about 5 times.

[Geezer]

If he seems to be homeless you could always trying calling the local cat rescue centre .

If he seems homeless I will shoot him :rambo:

[psl]

If your gaff stinks of turnips in the morning, don't take that woman home again.