bollocks

[dvtimes]

bollocks

Well I thought I had cancer last night on my private parts.

Went to the doctors. He made out I was gay.

Anyway, told him I found a lump. So he examined me.

Turns out to be a cyst. He says it will clear up in a few days.

Oh well.

[-HF]

did you sport an erection at the expectation of him fondling your balls or why did he assume your gayness?

[daveydude]

Oh well.

You sound disapointed! lol

[dvtimes]

You sound disapointed! lol

Its a bit like when I pased by driving test on the 3rd go. I got so used to failing, it felt wrong to pass.

I had thought from 1am untill 5pm that I had cancer down below. I had spent this tiome planning on how to spend my last days.

I guess I felt a bit daft.

I was thinking, cool, no need to pay back my student loans. I thought I had beaten the system.

[dvtimes]

did you sport an erection at the expectation of him fondling your balls or why did he assume your gayness?

No

In fact it had shrunk due to the cold.

He asked me how I noticed the lump. I thought what do you say?

[-HF]

He asked me how I noticed the lump. I thought what do you say?

wanking.

alternatively say washing. sounds credible. xmas is around the corner afterall.

[craig]

Did you don your full clown outfit and makeup for the visit?

[JT]

Did you don your full clown outfit and makeup for the visit?

Oh god I do hope so

[Cardinal_Sin]

Did you don your full clown outfit and makeup for the visit?


You'll soon find out - He filmed the whole visit -

[dvtimes]

Its a bit embarrassing (and painful) having your private parts squeezed by a total stranger.

It was like being in high school with the gym teacher.

[craig]

Its a bit embarrassing (and painful) having your private parts squeezed by a total stranger.

It was like being in high school with the gym teacher.

I take it you have never been to Chicargos then?

[dvtimes]

I take it you have never been to Chicargos then?

Is that a nightclub?

[craig]

yes indeedee :)

Often frequented by slightly older ladies who have experience at ball control

[dvtimes]

I was just thinking, I hope he was a doctor, and not just a clearner.

Now I have been with a few chicks, but thinking about it, this doctor gor more personal than any one else. I feel so dirty.

[dvtimes]

When I was about 5, I had to have that op (the one when the end of your ding dong is cut off). It was for some reason or other, not religiouse.

Anyway, when the stiches were being taken out, the nurse was telling her friend that one of the doctors had been too timing her. At that point it was clear she hat hatred for all men. Hense my ding dong was in agony as she RIPED the stiches out.

[craig]

I was just thinking, I hope he was a doctor, and not just a clearner.

Now I have been with a few chicks, but thinking about it, this doctor gor more personal than any one else. I feel so dirty.

Did you visit Dr Rimmer ?

[dvtimes]

Did you visit Dr Rimmer ?

No


I was layed there, bottomless with my ding dong being sqeesed. I think he was trying to burst the syst. Hurt liked mad.

Got to go back in a weeks time.

I shall talk about man stuff to demonstrate that I am not gay.

I shall take a DIY book to show that I am a chap.

He told me to wash my hands afterwords. I thought cheeky sod, as had been in the bath for an hour before I went.

[craig]

Did you visit Dr Tess Tickles?

[dvtimes]

Did you visit Dr Tess Tickles?

Yes

The syst is on the right testicle.

Like I said to doc, I do not remeber the bump being there. Also I had not one on the left. To me I should have the same things on both sides, so I new there was an error.

[craig]

Yes

The syst is on the right testicle.

Like I said to doc, I do not remeber the bump being there. Also I had not one on the left. To me I should have the same things on both sides, so I new there was an error.

Sounds like a case of the Hitlers.

He only had one ball, he left the other in the Albert Hall. :crown:

[-HF]

I was layed there, bottomless with my ding dong being sqeesed. I think he was trying to burst the syst. Hurt liked mad.

Got to go back in a weeks time.

mind it could be way worse (http://www.beerandbollocks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1898).

[dvtimes]

I thought if I had cancer, they may remove the testicles, so I was going to ask my nabour to marry me, so I could have a kid before the operation. I planed to ask her today.

So I saved myself that.

[-HF]

you could always have some spunk in a sperm bank, in case someone feels the urge to rip your balls off. considering your fav pastime in the woods, this might occur any day now.

[dvtimes]

you could always have some spunk in a sperm bank, in case someone feels the urge to rip your balls off. considering your fav pastime in the woods, this might occur any day now.

And thats another embaresment.

a. having to produce it on demand
b. producing more than half a teaspoon

[Rosie]

b. producing more than half a teaspoon

You put it in your tea? :sick:

[xcite-tv]

He asked me how I noticed the lump. I thought what do you say?


You say a gay mate spotted it when one of your balls hit his chin

[-HF]

b. producing more than half a teaspoon

this may help. (http://mensniche.com/hit.php?w=102006&p=2&s=14) :eyebrows: