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Jase
10-25-05, 08:06 PM
Going into hospital tomorrow for some pretty major surgery and guess what my main worry is? Injections? Nope! Pain of getting cut to ribbons? Nope! Dying? Nope! Getting a woodie during a bed bath :Penis - hell yeah..........

Im gonna be unable to move or do jack for myself for at least 2 or 3 days so bed baths are gonna be the order of the day and knowing my luck it will be some 19 year old 5ft 10 blonde with big tits and there is nooooooooo way he is gonna behave no matter how sore the rest of me is - what can I do to keep him under control? Cant go into the lavvy and whack off ten times a day cos wont be able to move - help me!!!!!!!!!!!!
Geezer
10-25-05, 08:26 PM
Going into hospital tomorrow for some pretty major surgery and guess what my main worry is? Injections? Nope! Pain of getting cut to ribbons? Nope! Dying? Nope! Getting a woodie during a bed bath :Penis - hell yeah..........

Im gonna be unable to move or do jack for myself for at least 2 or 3 days so bed baths are gonna be the order of the day and knowing my luck it will be some 19 year old 5ft 10 blonde with big tits and there is nooooooooo way he is gonna behave no matter how sore the rest of me is - what can I do to keep him under control? Cant go into the lavvy and whack off ten times a day cos wont be able to move - help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure their used to it, just tell them your helmet needs extra soaping as it get dirty quick. ALl that extra soap and they might not notice when you do ya beans :Penis

God lukc with the op as well :cheers2:
SGS
10-25-05, 08:28 PM
Good luck with your op. :Penis
JT
10-25-05, 09:43 PM
good luck and dont think of Barbera Windsor in carry on doctor while having a bed bath
TommyMac
10-26-05, 02:38 AM
Hope everything goes well mate. :)
Guest
10-26-05, 07:41 AM
Somehow, I think nurses will be used to it...
Dirty Derek
10-26-05, 08:47 AM
Believe me mate (and bear in mind I was a nurse for 15 years) she will tell ALL the staff on the ward, and they'll all have a snigger about it. And don't kid yourself that yours will be the biggest she's ever seen, coz she'll tell everyone it was tiny anyway.

Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. Get out as quickly as possible and don't eat the food!
JT
10-26-05, 09:01 AM
Believe me mate (and bear in mind I was a nurse for 15 years) she will tell ALL the staff on the ward, and they'll all have a snigger about it. And don't kid yourself that yours will be the biggest she's ever seen, coz she'll tell everyone it was tiny anyway.

Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. Get out as quickly as possible and don't eat the food!

LMAO way to go to cheer a man going in to surgery :lmao2:
matt
10-26-05, 10:57 AM
Fit nurses are an urban myth, I've only ever had old trouts. You've got no worries.
mOBSCENE
10-26-05, 11:35 AM
Use your imagination to superimpose a clownish looking grimace over the Nurse's face... This should help.

All the best for your time in hospital and the op.
craig
10-26-05, 11:48 AM
hope all goes well.
JP
10-26-05, 12:43 PM
Use your imagination to superimpose a clownish looking grimace over the Nurse's face... This should help.

All the best for your time in hospital and the op.
http://www.beerandbollocks.com/silly/nurse.jpg

Hope all goes well dude :)
JT
10-26-05, 12:43 PM
http://www.beerandbollocks.com/silly/nurse.jpg

Hope all goes well dude :)

LOL
mOBSCENE
10-26-05, 01:02 PM
:lmao2:
SGS
10-26-05, 01:37 PM
good luck and dont think of Barbera Windsor in carry on doctor while having a bed bath

Thinking about the wig munter should make it go soft so fast it will slap against your leg. :mad:
SGS
10-26-05, 01:38 PM
http://www.beerandbollocks.com/silly/nurse.jpg

Hope all goes well dude :)

OMFG! :lmao2:
justb
10-26-05, 04:35 PM
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Tim
10-26-05, 05:12 PM
Best wishes. Enjoy nurse servicings!
morefodder
10-27-05, 08:31 AM
Believe me mate (and bear in mind I was a nurse for 15 years) she will tell ALL the staff on the ward, and they'll all have a snigger about it. And don't kid yourself that yours will be the biggest she's ever seen, coz she'll tell everyone it was tiny anyway.

Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. Get out as quickly as possible and don't eat the food!

:lmao2: you ever thought of working for the samaritans !!
morefodder
10-27-05, 08:32 AM
http://www.beerandbollocks.com/silly/nurse.jpg

Hope all goes well dude :)


:lmao2: that a good one !!
rogue
10-27-05, 12:44 PM
Believe me mate (and bear in mind I was a nurse for 15 years) she will tell ALL the staff on the ward, and they'll all have a snigger about it. And don't kid yourself that yours will be the biggest she's ever seen, coz she'll tell everyone it was tiny anyway.

Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. Get out as quickly as possible and don't eat the food!


i work for the NHS now, and yes, dirty derek is spot on. the nurses will be having a real laugh at your expense! :D
ChemicalEyes
10-27-05, 12:51 PM
Best wishes Jase :drink:
SGS
10-27-05, 12:54 PM
Believe me mate (and bear in mind I was a nurse for 15 years) she will tell ALL the staff on the ward, and they'll all have a snigger about it. And don't kid yourself that yours will be the biggest she's ever seen, coz she'll tell everyone it was tiny anyway.

Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news. Get out as quickly as possible and don't eat the food!

Also, some nurses will always say that "just big is never big enough..." :eyebrows:

http://www.lady-sonia.com/Updates/premier/char_5.jpg
REBEL
10-27-05, 06:30 PM
Why worry about "she"? Could be a male nurse and you still get a stiffy.. LOL
Jase
10-29-05, 05:25 PM
Well Im back - fucking pain is unreal but Im alive (kinda, feels like I have been run over by a truck!)

Refused to let any of the nurses into the shower room while I showered so no embarassing situations there thank fuck and I went private to avoid all the perils of the NHS!

Anyway, thanks for all the kind words and thoughts - much appreciated!

Jase
mOBSCENE
10-29-05, 06:55 PM
Glad to hear you survived the nurses and all!
JesseP
10-29-05, 07:44 PM
Well that was a rubbish end to what sounded like it could have been a great story. Couldn't you have just lied and told us about this fabulous nurse giving you the best wank of your life :) :)
Jase
10-29-05, 08:13 PM
Well that was a rubbish end to what sounded like it could have been a great story. Couldn't you have just lied and told us about this fabulous nurse giving you the best wank of your life :) :)

Welllllll I coulda done but even Britney Spears standing over me in her "Hit me Baby One more Time" school uniform with crotchless knickers still couldnt raise any interest for me right now! Its amazing the impact excruciating pain has on your libido and, if anything, this goes to prove that the truth is never really that exciting!!! :alcoholic