Love to hate you

[-HF]

whether the Washington Post bit is true is another matter, but JT sure can use some of those. :D

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.

1. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

2. Thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

3. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

4. Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace!
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

8. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

10. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

11. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

12. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[fredicus]

LOL!!
:lmao2:

[JT]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started. "

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in
and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all
these Corn Flakes back in the box."

[-HF]

During her annual checkup, a well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.

"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."

"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."

In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"

"Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

[JP]

3. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Superb .. :)

[-HF]

Superb .. :)
make sure you got a place to stay before you use it on the Mrs. :D