I thought I was going to die

[Geezer]

I have just had a dump and when I wiped my arse it was a very very dark red, I though "fuck me, there is something wrong here" I started thinking it's gotta be bowel cancer or some sort of major fuck up in my stomach, maybe an ulcer has burst.

My life flashed before my eyes and I was thinking about what will happen to my kids, I haven't written a will and all sorts. I did think at least I will lose some weight :)

Anyway I had resigned myself to a long and painful death and then I remembered I went to my mums yesterday and I ate about half a Beetroot and she gave me one to bring home and I ate that last night as well. So basically it was just all the fucking colour from the beetroot :lmao2:

[-HF]

definitely more information than anyone here has bargained for.

[Geezer]

definitely more information than anyone here has bargained for.


Just sharing :lmao2:

[craig]

I have just had a dump and when I wiped my arse it was a very very dark red, I though "fuck me, there is something wrong here" I started thinking it's gotta be bowel cancer or some sort of major fuck up in my stomach, maybe an ulcer has burst.

My life flashed before my eyes and I was thinking about what will happen to my kids, I haven't written a will and all sorts. I did think at least I will lose some weight :)

Anyway I had resigned myself to a long and painful death and then I remembered I went to my mums yesterday and I ate about half a Beetroot and she gave me one to bring home and I ate that last night as well. So basically it was just all the fucking colour from the beetroot :lmao2:


No, no, you have been marked.....

For being rude about Arsenal the other day.

Now you are cursed with redcurrent....

http://www.sportstops.co.uk/images/Arsenal%20home%20new.JPG

[JT]

definitely more information than anyone here has bargained for.

LOL yes very much so

[JT]

dude. A word of warning, just because it was a beetroot that caused your poo to be red doesnt meen you havn't got bowel cancer or are not about to die. :eyebrows:

[Geezer]

dude. A word of warning, just because it was a beetroot that caused your poo to be red doesnt meen you havn't got bowel cancer or are not about to die. :eyebrows:

Oh right, cheers John, I better go back to worrying then, nah fuck it I'll open a beer and forget it :cheers:

[maxdaforce]

i think your chalfonts are playing up

[tom1]

life flashing or flushing before your eyes :lmao2:

[morefodder]

Dare i say .. this threads useless .... erm , no I wont ... keep it text only please

[-HF]

Dare i say .. this threads useless ....

tubgirl time?

[morefodder]

tubgirl time?
nah .. still dead .. thank fuck

[Cardinal_Sin]

I have just had a dump and when I wiped my arse it was a very very dark red, I though "fuck me, there is something wrong here" I started thinking it's gotta be bowel cancer or some sort of major fuck up in my stomach, maybe an ulcer has burst.

My life flashed before my eyes and I was thinking about what will happen to my kids, I haven't written a will and all sorts. I did think at least I will lose some weight :)

Anyway I had resigned myself to a long and painful death and then I remembered I went to my mums yesterday and I ate about half a Beetroot and she gave me one to bring home and I ate that last night as well. So basically it was just all the fucking colour from the beetroot :lmao2:


I drink a lot of Barszcz (Beetroot soup) and also eat a lot of betroot salads - But have, as yet, neither been tempted to looking into the shitter after I have had a crap, nor have I had a peek at the dump paper after wiping my arse -

What in fucking hell's name makes you want to investigate your shit paper and your spent turds?

[Geezer]

I drink a lot of Barszcz (Beetroot soup) and also eat a lot of betroot salads - But have, as yet, neither been tempted to looking into the shitter after I have had a crap, nor have I had a peek at the dump paper after wiping my arse -

What in fucking hell's name makes you want to investigate your shit paper and your spent turds?

There is a joke: "how does a blind person know when they have finished wiping their arse"

I have asked many people whether they look at the paper after wiping and the answer is yes, some have said "no but there's nothing on there anyway" well how would you know if there was anything there or not if you didn't look.

OK, hands up who looks at the paper after wiping?, come on be honest.

Surely you have to cos there might still be some that needs removing :)

[craig]

There is a joke: "how does a blind person know when they have finished wiping their arse"





Hmmm

So that's why Ray Charles walked with a slight hop and a skip..

[Geezer]

Hmmm

So that's why Ray Charles walked with a slight hop and a skip..

No, he was black, blind black people don't give it away so easily. Next time you see a white blind person notice that just under their nose is a very small brown patch. It's not really obvious but if you look you will see it.

[rogue]

No, he was black, blind black people don't give it away so easily. Next time you see a white blind person notice that just under their nose is a very small brown patch. It's not really obvious but if you look you will see it.

eurgh!!!

[Elisha Jade]

lolol

[morefodder]

No, he was black, blind black people don't give it away so easily. Next time you see a white blind person notice that just under their nose is a very small brown patch. It's not really obvious but if you look you will see it.

:lmao2: I'm so gonna have to look next time I see one :lmao2:

[Shandy McAndy]

Hmmm

So that's why Ray Charles walked with a slight hop and a skip..

No thats because hes got bum grapes