Difference between British and American members.

[onlytease]

Copies of two emails received today, one from a British member, and one from an American member, can you guess which is which :)

Email 1

Hi,

Sorry to disturb you, but I have been a long term member of your site, but did try to gain access today and I can't get in. Do you think you can check all is OK with my login xxxxxxxx and let me know if there is any problems.

With best regards,


Email 2

cant fucking login have paid my money and want to fucking get in now or refund my fucking money now. this is fucking shit


In both cases they were failed rebills that could not get access to the site!!

[Damian]

Would have been tempting to reply in his style:

Your fucking payment failed, you fucking redneck shit, get a job, move out of your fucking parent's garage, and pay your fucking credit card bill, you fucking fuck.

All the best

OT support

xxx

[badbee]

At one time I sold double glazing for a while, one of the guys there used to say to people that failed the finance

"I'm really very sorry, but we've spoken to the finance company, apparently they said they wouldn't lend you the money to buy a packet of crisps"

Now tell us the abusive one was from the UK :P

[onlytease]

no the abusive one was the american. invaribly if we get stroppy emails its from americans who have either had a failed rebill or else do not know what CasE SenSitIVe means for a username and password

[Willie_Ekkerslike]

and i usually start my reply with.

thank you very much for your polite email

[xcite-tv]

and i usually start my reply with.

thank you very much for your polite email

I would reply with..

you had your wank, now fuck off you cunt.

Customer relations always being my strong point

[Willie_Ekkerslike]

I would reply with..

you had your wank, now fuck off you cunt.

Customer relations always being my strong point

lol yeah i do like that one but knowing my luck it has chargeback written all over it.

[Benny_MN]

Hi,

Sorry to disturb you, but I have been a long term member of your site, but did try to gain access today and I can't get in. Do you think you can check all is OK with my login xxxxxxxx and let me know if there is any problems.

With best regards,



Ahhh, makes you proud doesn't it. :D

[strictlybroadband]

Our typical customer email says something like:

how do i wach porn

And that's just from JT.

[AllRuth]

Hehe. I'm guess I'm lucky in that all my support emails from members are *very* polite indeed :>

[Gord]

The best ones are

Cant Login. (in the subject line) and nothing in the body.

Like you have only one member so you know exactly who they are.

They are always yanks too.

[Mattyboy]

The best ones are

Cant Login. (in the subject line) and nothing in the body.

Like you have only one member so you know exactly who they are.

They are always yanks too.

So true :(

I moved to a 'ticket' system as many customers didn't keep previous messages in there replies.
Just above the submit ticket link in bold red text i added:

If you submit a ticket, please do not simply put a one line message such as...

"I have lost my password"
"My login doesn't work"
"I can't login?"
"I have forgot my details"

Even that does not stop one liners only :(

[heidi84]

The best ones are

Cant Login. (in the subject line) and nothing in the body.

Like you have only one member so you know exactly who they are.

They are always yanks too.

PMSL i got one once where it said

Dear support,
i cant log in, could you help? dont rply to this email address cos its for work.

Cheers Alan

What so i was supposed to go oh alan yer i know who you are mate np, even tho ive no email address no login details and i dont even know ya full name :D .............tosser

[Scottybuzz]

Hahaha great stuff.
You surprise me, I would have put money on the second reply being english. lol