View Full Version : An entertaining email we got :)
onlytease
03-20-07, 07:39 PM
This guy doesn't really want much help :)
Copy of the email we got today.......
Dear Webmaster,
I am sending you this email to get information about starting an adult
affiliate website and using your content to promote. I have very little
experience in the website design and web mastering. I do however want to
learn how to run an effective and cash flowing adult affiliate website. I
have read over your company's information and FAQ sheet and had a few more
in-depth questions. If you would not mind taking the time to read and answer
my questions it would be greatly appreciated. I am hoping with your help and
web mastering knowledge I can develop a successful adult affiliate site and
make us both some money. I thank you for your time and energy in assisting
me in my effort to build this adult affiliate website.
The following questions I have are:
Is there an upfront fee to become a member of your affiliate program?
Are there any recurring fees in the affiliate program?
Do you contact your affiliate sites to get them to sign up for a "Mentoring"
or "Marketing" Service which has a large upfront fee?
What are the typical costs of running an affiliate web site?
Can the affiliate site be held liable for any reason if the pay site gets
sued?
Does the affiliate site need to carry liability insurance against getting
sued?
How much web site design skills are required to run an affiliate site?
Do you provide summary reports of activity? # of sales, revenue generated,
number of clicks in a monthly summary? or bi-weekly to coincide with payout
dates?
On the pre-made and free hosted galleries offered through your program can I
only post your website galleries and promotion material or can I post a
variety of galleries from different sites/affiliate programs?
If I was to create my own website can I promote your websites/affiliate
program along with other websites/affiliate programs?
Any suggestions on website design software or do recommend paying someone to
design an affiliate site?
Do you know of any good sponsored free website design programs available?
Is it better to have niche content or all types of general content on the
website? And then on the general content site have niche gallery pages?
How do I go about getting the name of my website registered on the web?
Can I sign up if I do not have a Federal Tax Id #? When I get a Federal Tax
Id # can I change it in the system for tax reporting purposes?
How do I or can I drive traffic to my website?
How do I trade traffic with other free sites? Refer traffic, get listed on
their list of free sites?
How do I get listed on the major search engines?
Are there any dedicated search engines for adult content only?
Do you have any suggestion for a person looking to start an adult affiliate
site for the first time? Any resources I should look into?
About how many hours a week does it take to run a successful adult affiliate
site?
Am I responsible for paying income tax on the money I earn? Are there any
deductions taken out of the money I earn?
As an affiliate, can I be held legally responsible for the content in the
affiliate program/pay sites that I am promoting?
Are the disclosures guarantying against child pornography in using your
promotion material?
Do you require a ccbill account to participate in the affiliate program?
Is ACH an option to receive payments?
Do you have a live support staff to help me with any questions or the
marketing of the affiliate program/my web site?
I would like to thank you again for taking the time to answer my questions
about your program and establishing an adult affiliate website. Whatever
information you can provide me will be greatly appreciated
Scotty.T
03-20-07, 07:48 PM
This guy doesn't really want much help :)
Yeah not much LOL.
WordsforHire
03-20-07, 07:53 PM
Holy poo, I've been in adult over a year and still don't know all of the answers hehe, Im sure I'm not the only one either...
Never any set replies to these is there...lol - good luck with your response ;)
xcite-tv
03-20-07, 07:57 PM
I think you should answer all those questions and send him the money to start up.
redwhiteandblue
03-20-07, 08:03 PM
Well it can't be DVT, there's no spelling mistakes.
I think you should answer all those questions and send him the money to start up.
and not provide hosting, domains and design so he can start today?
Well it can't be DVT, there's no spelling mistakes.
But he uses spellchecker for email....
But questions do seem a little advanced for him
xcite-tv
03-20-07, 08:09 PM
Actually if you do answer them can you copy me in too :gaylords:
at least he is putting serious thought into it.
Are you going to reply? And what are you going to say if you do?
Beware! He sounds like the sort of nurk who'll just come back with more questions.
He sounds quite sensible to me. Send him my way if he wants a mentor.
The questions are reasonable. But to ask so many shows a lack of social awareness of what is appropriate. I suspect that the person may have an obsesive personality and doesn't appreciate how demanding their behaviour is. Seriously Jel if you were thinking of taking this person on I'd beware.
That's possible of course, but it could simply be a case of him thinking rather than send endless replies with each further question, he feels it's more pragmatic to outline everything in one hit.
I'd give up an hour to see which way the wind is blowing with this guy :)
Maybe it's my suspicious nature but there's something not quite right about the type of questions and the way they're asked. Any fool can ask a question but most of us would read the boards, google for answers, read the many many tutorials on how to be an adult webmaster etc. etc. and not be a pain in the proverbial by asking so many questions of a busy webmaster. I suspect he's got a screw loose.
While we're talking about it, onlytease has probably told him to bugger off! LOL
why not just give him the url of B&B and we can all have a go at answering his questions? :D
I guess one of the frustrations with an email like the one received is the sheer length of time it will take to respond & trying to cover everthing asked & word it in such a way that you feel the person who wrote to you would be satisfied & clear on it all.
Personally in this situation I would send an email back saying that I would be happy to answer everthing, however, I would prefer to do this over the phone as I felt it would be easier for us both, not to mention clearer from his / her point of view (& offer a few alternative times of when it might be best for them to call you)
This would of course help to establish if the writer was genuine (If they don't ring or at least write back to say they wont ring then you know they are a messer) & would also be very positive from your own P.R. point of view, who knows, the person *might* turn out to be one of your better affiliates,afterall if they're putting this much thought in at this early stage they may well carry that through into a very positive working style which may turn out to be of mutual benefit :twocents:
CosmicTang
03-20-07, 11:42 PM
I have a client that asks ENDLESS questions, but he also busts his ass to get joins. So there's an upside to someone that focused.
Those questions just about sum up the entire scope of webmaster chat boards since the beginning of the net. I don't believe that is a entry level email. Not quite sure what the motivation is.
I suggest the following answers:
Is there an upfront fee to become a member of your affiliate program?
Yes. Our fee of $500 is one of the lowest on the web.
Are there any recurring fees in the affiliate program?
Yes. All our affiliates pay a small recurring fee of $200 per month
Do you contact your affiliate sites to get them to sign up for a "Mentoring"
or "Marketing" Service which has a large upfront fee?
We recommend the Beer and Bollocks advice board. Membership normally costs $500 per year but we can get you signed up for only $100
What are the typical costs of running an affiliate web site?
These can be very high but we can obtain hosting for you at a much reduced fee.
Can the affiliate site be held liable for any reason if the pay site gets
sued?
No
Does the affiliate site need to carry liability insurance against getting
sued?
Again we can offer our affiliates the OnlyTeasing liability insurance at the modest fee of $50 per month
How much web site design skills are required to run an affiliate site?
Almost none.
Do you provide summary reports of activity? # of sales, revenue generated,
number of clicks in a monthly summary? or bi-weekly to coincide with payout
dates?
Yes. The fee for providing these is $75 per month
On the pre-made and free hosted galleries offered through your program can I only post your website galleries and promotion material or can I post a
variety of galleries from different sites/affiliate programs?
No. You must agree to only act as an affiliate for our site and no others.
If I was to create my own website can I promote your websites/affiliate
program along with other websites/affiliate programs?
No. See the last answer
Any suggestions on website design software or do recommend paying someone to design an affiliate site?
This is an excellent idea and one which is more likely to bring success. We can design sites for you at the cost of $500 per page.
Do you know of any good sponsored free website design programs available?
You should avoid these.
Is it better to have niche content or all types of general content on the
website? And then on the general content site have niche gallery pages?
You can and should only promote our content on pages we have designed for you.
How do I go about getting the name of my website registered on the web?
We can arrange this for you at the cost of $200 dollars.
Can I sign up if I do not have a Federal Tax Id #? When I get a Federal Tax
Id # can I change it in the system for tax reporting purposes?
No body ever pays tax in the porn industry. We have an exemption.
How do I or can I drive traffic to my website?
Driving traffic to your site is like herding sheep. You wave your arms about and shout a lot.
How do I trade traffic with other free sites? Refer traffic, get listed on
their list of free sites?
Don't worry about this. It's included in our fee.
How do I get listed on the major search engines?
See our last answer.
Are there any dedicated search engines for adult content only?
Yes
Do you have any suggestion for a person looking to start an adult affiliate
site for the first time? Any resources I should look into?
About how many hours a week does it take to run a successful adult affiliate
site?
With our help you'll be down to about 40 minutes a week.
Am I responsible for paying income tax on the money I earn? Are there any
deductions taken out of the money I earn?
See our previous answer on the question of tax.
As an affiliate, can I be held legally responsible for the content in the
affiliate program/pay sites that I am promoting?
Don't see why. If there's any trouble, do what we'll do and make a run for it.
Are the disclosures guarantying against child pornography in using your
promotion material?
Don't worry. We only use child labour to stoke the search engines and clean their chimneys etc.
Do you require a ccbill account to participate in the affiliate program?
No. We believe in cutting out the middle man.
Is ACH an option to receive payments?
No. We do not do business with Scotish banks?
Do you have a live support staff to help me with any questions or the
marketing of the affiliate program/my web site?
Well, some of them twitch occassionally but I wouldn't use the word live.
Those questions just about sum up the entire scope of webmaster chat boards since the beginning of the net. I don't believe that is a entry level email. Not quite sure what the motivation is.
it's Markham's well informed surfer ready to take the plunge.
it's Markham's well informed surfer ready to take the plunge.
Nowthat was funny:takethat:
mOBSCENE
03-21-07, 04:00 PM
I suggest the following answers:
Is there an upfront fee to become a member of your affiliate program?
Yes. Our fee of $500 is one of the lowest on the web.
Are there any recurring fees in the affiliate program?
Yes. All our affiliates pay a small recurring fee of $200 per month
Do you contact your affiliate sites to get them to sign up for a "Mentoring"
or "Marketing" Service which has a large upfront fee?
We recommend the Beer and Bollocks advice board. Membership normally costs $500 per year but we can get you signed up for only $100
What are the typical costs of running an affiliate web site?
These can be very high but we can obtain hosting for you at a much reduced fee.
Can the affiliate site be held liable for any reason if the pay site gets
sued?
No
Does the affiliate site need to carry liability insurance against getting
sued?
Again we can offer our affiliates the OnlyTeasing liability insurance at the modest fee of $50 per month
How much web site design skills are required to run an affiliate site?
Almost none.
Do you provide summary reports of activity? # of sales, revenue generated,
number of clicks in a monthly summary? or bi-weekly to coincide with payout
dates?
Yes. The fee for providing these is $75 per month
On the pre-made and free hosted galleries offered through your program can I only post your website galleries and promotion material or can I post a
variety of galleries from different sites/affiliate programs?
No. You must agree to only act as an affiliate for our site and no others.
If I was to create my own website can I promote your websites/affiliate
program along with other websites/affiliate programs?
No. See the last answer
Any suggestions on website design software or do recommend paying someone to design an affiliate site?
This is an excellent idea and one which is more likely to bring success. We can design sites for you at the cost of $500 per page.
Do you know of any good sponsored free website design programs available?
You should avoid these.
Is it better to have niche content or all types of general content on the
website? And then on the general content site have niche gallery pages?
You can and should only promote our content on pages we have designed for you.
How do I go about getting the name of my website registered on the web?
We can arrange this for you at the cost of $200 dollars.
Can I sign up if I do not have a Federal Tax Id #? When I get a Federal Tax
Id # can I change it in the system for tax reporting purposes?
No body ever pays tax in the porn industry. We have an exemption.
How do I or can I drive traffic to my website?
Driving traffic to your site is like herding sheep. You wave your arms about and shout a lot.
How do I trade traffic with other free sites? Refer traffic, get listed on
their list of free sites?
Don't worry about this. It's included in our fee.
How do I get listed on the major search engines?
See our last answer.
Are there any dedicated search engines for adult content only?
Yes
Do you have any suggestion for a person looking to start an adult affiliate
site for the first time? Any resources I should look into?
About how many hours a week does it take to run a successful adult affiliate
site?
With our help you'll be down to about 40 minutes a week.
Am I responsible for paying income tax on the money I earn? Are there any
deductions taken out of the money I earn?
See our previous answer on the question of tax.
As an affiliate, can I be held legally responsible for the content in the
affiliate program/pay sites that I am promoting?
Don't see why. If there's any trouble, do what we'll do and make a run for it.
Are the disclosures guarantying against child pornography in using your
promotion material?
Don't worry. We only use child labour to stoke the search engines and clean their chimneys etc.
Do you require a ccbill account to participate in the affiliate program?
No. We believe in cutting out the middle man.
Is ACH an option to receive payments?
No. We do not do business with Scotish banks?
Do you have a live support staff to help me with any questions or the
marketing of the affiliate program/my web site?
Well, some of them twitch occassionally but I wouldn't use the word live.
You have far too much time on your hands :)
I suggest the following answers:
Is there an upfront fee to become a member of your affiliate program?
Yes. Our fee of $500 is one of the lowest on the web.
Are there any recurring fees in the affiliate program?
Yes. All our affiliates pay a small recurring fee of $200 per month
Do you contact your affiliate sites to get them to sign up for a "Mentoring"
or "Marketing" Service which has a large upfront fee?
We recommend the Beer and Bollocks advice board. Membership normally costs $500 per year but we can get you signed up for only $100
What are the typical costs of running an affiliate web site?
These can be very high but we can obtain hosting for you at a much reduced fee.
Can the affiliate site be held liable for any reason if the pay site gets
sued?
No
Does the affiliate site need to carry liability insurance against getting
sued?
Again we can offer our affiliates the OnlyTeasing liability insurance at the modest fee of $50 per month
How much web site design skills are required to run an affiliate site?
Almost none.
Do you provide summary reports of activity? # of sales, revenue generated,
number of clicks in a monthly summary? or bi-weekly to coincide with payout
dates?
Yes. The fee for providing these is $75 per month
On the pre-made and free hosted galleries offered through your program can I only post your website galleries and promotion material or can I post a
variety of galleries from different sites/affiliate programs?
No. You must agree to only act as an affiliate for our site and no others.
If I was to create my own website can I promote your websites/affiliate
program along with other websites/affiliate programs?
No. See the last answer
Any suggestions on website design software or do recommend paying someone to design an affiliate site?
This is an excellent idea and one which is more likely to bring success. We can design sites for you at the cost of $500 per page.
Do you know of any good sponsored free website design programs available?
You should avoid these.
Is it better to have niche content or all types of general content on the
website? And then on the general content site have niche gallery pages?
You can and should only promote our content on pages we have designed for you.
How do I go about getting the name of my website registered on the web?
We can arrange this for you at the cost of $200 dollars.
Can I sign up if I do not have a Federal Tax Id #? When I get a Federal Tax
Id # can I change it in the system for tax reporting purposes?
No body ever pays tax in the porn industry. We have an exemption.
How do I or can I drive traffic to my website?
Driving traffic to your site is like herding sheep. You wave your arms about and shout a lot.
How do I trade traffic with other free sites? Refer traffic, get listed on
their list of free sites?
Don't worry about this. It's included in our fee.
How do I get listed on the major search engines?
See our last answer.
Are there any dedicated search engines for adult content only?
Yes
Do you have any suggestion for a person looking to start an adult affiliate
site for the first time? Any resources I should look into?
About how many hours a week does it take to run a successful adult affiliate
site?
With our help you'll be down to about 40 minutes a week.
Am I responsible for paying income tax on the money I earn? Are there any
deductions taken out of the money I earn?
See our previous answer on the question of tax.
As an affiliate, can I be held legally responsible for the content in the
affiliate program/pay sites that I am promoting?
Don't see why. If there's any trouble, do what we'll do and make a run for it.
Are the disclosures guarantying against child pornography in using your
promotion material?
Don't worry. We only use child labour to stoke the search engines and clean their chimneys etc.
Do you require a ccbill account to participate in the affiliate program?
No. We believe in cutting out the middle man.
Is ACH an option to receive payments?
No. We do not do business with Scotish banks?
Do you have a live support staff to help me with any questions or the
marketing of the affiliate program/my web site?
Well, some of them twitch occassionally but I wouldn't use the word live.
LOL
You should get him to sign-up then point him to B&B
vBulletin v3.5.4, Copyright ©2000-2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.